PROJECT: Best Kept Secret - a Survival Guide

If you are a cancer survivor, this is not your book.  My story is not about the cancer. It's about surviving someone else's cancer, surviving betrayal, learning to survive without guilt. 

It's giving a voice to the caregivers who don't dare say aloud the horrible thoughts we think while our loved one is dying. 
All the anger, the frustration, the hatred, the depression
-they do not diminish your love.
~ 
I had a sweet suburban nuclear family in Michigan with my teen daughter Alia and my ideal life partner, Tim. With his support I went back to college and started a screen printing business. Tim was diagnosed with a brain tumor and given six months to live.  Ten years later, he was clearly not dying but also not getting better.

The brain tumor was considered cancerous and inoperable - surgery might interrupt the mobility, motor function, and  cognition he still had. The debilitating seizures caused by the tumor ended his music career. I dropped out of college to care for him. Cancer took away the father Tim had become to my daughter.

Tim and I crafted a plan to move to California; we hoped to find cutting-edge healthcare for him and improve my daughter's chances for a fulfilling life. And then he chose to not come with us.

I was single again, and I found love again, all the while keeping in touch with Tim by phone. He found love again, too. Restlessness got the best of me, and I made another life-changing decision: to leave the desert and move to Washington, DC. That's where this chapter of my life ends.

Best Kept Secret (the working title that isn't going away) is the story of everything that happened before and after that fateful decision. It's a drawing of life in a quirky desert resort town.

Survivor's Remorse - Leaving the Demons' Door Open

Love vs. Loss

Friendship vs. Dying: Excerpt from my upcoming book

Late Night With Miles - aka That Time I Was Called a Beacon of Sanity

Weird Holidays vs. Saudade - Celebrate

How to Find Lost Things vs. When to Leave Them Lost

Big Texas Road Trip, Part the Two - Meeting the Cosmos

Things Which Are Not Mine To Carry, aka My Date with Satan

And That's Why I Can't Go To The Library