Rules for Adult Relationships [Lots of F-bombs Edit]
- Know yourself - every time you think you do, you really don't. Trust me on this one, because it's true of all humans. Keep the "I may be an idiot" door open at all times, but don't let knowing you might be an idiot stop you from living.
- Identify your end-goal: what do you want ultimately; what are you willing to accept? answer this question and then see #11.
- Take No for an answer.
- Take maybe for a "not likely" or really it's just no. See #12.
- DON'T FUCKING LIE. don't bullshit, don't twist options. In order to be successful on this point, you have to be solid on #1 and #2. Fakery evidences itself, always. It's just a matter of time.
- Don't make assumptions. If you need clarity, ask the question.
- Realise that the person you're asking may not be clear on #1 and #2 themselves, in which case they will not be able to be honest with you. Be prepared to back the fuck out of there. See #5.
- Do not make your decisions based on the opinions or actions of your mates, peers, enemies, friends, movies or TV shows, past romances, imagined romances, or anything that looks like social status.
- Be prepared to walk away, willing to concede at any point where things are not gelling.
- Be prepared to deal with it if things actually are gelling (this is more difficult than people realise, because the waters are uncharted.)
- Don't accept "good enough" - you are blocking someone else's happiness as well as your own.
- Don't engage with anyone that doesn't think you are as awesome as you do, but also realise that there's more to the package which might be a deal breaker. See #9. Leave room for your own faults, as well as the other party's. True respect will get you through the awkward stuff
#13. Leave the gate open. If you have to pen somebody up to keep them in a relationship, they have already left it, and you are seeking ownership, not relationship.
#14. Never give another person the key to your self-esteem. Not even for a nanosecond. But love the stuffings out of you. This ensures that you have lots left to shower on other people.
Suggestions are welcome.