On Laziness & Crutches

"Be careful and lazy!" my friend advised. I laughed, because he and I both have a lot going on, always, sometimes collaboratively.

Yesterday, the doctor asked me about pain in my broken ankle. I told him, honestly, that there hadn't been much, and in fact more in the last few days than the whole 5 weeks since I'd been injured.

"Did you do anything differently these past few days?" 

I thought about it. "I forgot to take ibuprofen." 

This is true. Throughout my sentence of crutches, I started taking less OTC pain medication to see exactly how much I hurt. I guess that level of pain felt normal, so I forgot to do anything about it. 

I never did tell anyone about the pain in my left elbow. 

I can still do my work, though I have to do it without twisting or flexing. I have to remember not to twist, not to flex. Losing personal freedom is what hurts. I couldn't just get up and go get what I'd forgotten, either across the room or at the market. 

The culture my family gave me was this: shut up, suck it up, someone will let you know when it's your turn. I come from a long line of people who learned to do for ourselves, because we had to. We couldn't afford to hire a professional. We learned to manage with the tractor we had and the shed built out of whatever. Nobody's coming to help you; shut up.

This made me think about the social media outrage I see about student loan forgiveness, or weapons to Ukraine, or a floating dock for Gaza. Or any form of care package. Why are people so angry about someone else getting relief?

Here's the thing we all forget: They're angry because they were hurt and kept quiet about it.

Yeah, they'll deny it, but they know. At some level, this is the culture some people are protecting. Suffer, keep quiet, if you work hard enough you'll succeed. If you don't succeed, you didn't work hard enough. It's a given; it's the America they want back.

Except it doesn't have to be that way. People who cut in line - who probably invented suck-it-up culture - know full well that you're too tired at the end of the day to hustle. You've become their crutch. They know if they let the grocery stores, the gas stations, the banks keep prices inflated, you'll adjust to survive. The president, any president, didn't do it. Someone says the word "freedom" and you're instantly defensive. Pain and freedom are linked. Don't twist; don't flex. Don't tell anyone you hurt. 

But here's the thing: our federal tax dollars are supposed to help you, too, and they do. Keeping roads clear and safe; creating public transportation for people who can't afford cars. SNAP benefits for people who can't get a job that pays the bills - for whatever reason they can't. You should have an office you can report to when your company is unethical.

What silent sufferers don't understand is that we bleeding hearts are crying for you, too. Yes, you were stoic. Yes, you survived. It wasn't right or fair. You don't have to compromise your personal freedom to respect the freedom of others. We respect  your pain; you should respect it, too.

You don't have to pass on your suffering to the next generation. New suffering will be invented for them. Let them invent their own.