Be the Gravy
you have to accept yourself and what you can offer to yourself. It is a lonely place to start, but absolutely necessary.
If someone matters to you, tell them. They may ask how or why; you don't have to answer. You can answer with, "I don't know."
Our culture tends to place an inordinate amount of value on romantic social relationships, pretty frosted decorations, when what we need is the nutritious meal. There are so many ways that people matter to us, some seemingly unimportant. They're very important. Eventually you may tell yourself why these people matter to you, and maybe you can share with them.
Tell the people that matter to you: You are not frosting.
For yourself: maybe you can't manage a full nutritious meal right now. Start with what you have. You probably have some fat in the refrigerator, flour in the cupboard (and you can't remember how it even got there.) Just add water, be a little salty, and there you have it: a comfortable embellishment to what you have right now. Let it be enough for you today.
Be the gravy. Or hummus, if you like. I like to put sumac on it.