How to Teach Nuance

By débora Ewing
Baby Aiden eats monsters.
When I'm unsure whether I'm reading nuance correctly, I check in with someone whose perception I trust, or whose decision will factor into the success of the project.  I tend to check smaller packets of information than others do, because I can.

I've already calculated a few probable outcomes. I want to know which outcome we prefer as a team. However, everyone's busy and would like to not follow the trail of my process to grasp what I'm after. I can't formulate the easy question on the fly. If someone asks me "why", and I try to answer, we're all in trouble, because I will tell you.  All of it.

I've always been this way.  I probably was an annoying kid.

Kids bring to you things that aren't important at the moment to you. You may be sorting some high-level issue for the household, and you don't get why the kid needs to know right now.  The short answer is: "the kid wants attention."  There are nuances, though. The answer may vary per child.
The kid is learning how to formulate the easy question. Learning how to determine the correct response to something that triggered attention. Learning from you.
This is an opportunity to teach several things:  how to wait. How to self-valuate. How to be unafraid to query further if something doesn't make sense to you.  How to formulate the short question.  These can all be life-saving skills as the child grows.

Take care that you don't teach the message that questions are irrelevant.  That extrapolates into question-askers being irrelevant. Look it up - it's a good word.

Managers are in a similar situation with the people they manage.  If you don't have time for the question you don't understand right now, say exactly that.
"I don't have time for that question right now. Is it something that can wait?"
If the something can wait, whether you're a parent or a manager, please remember to get back to the question.  It was brought to you for a reason.

That's what educators mean when they say,
 "There are no stupid questions."

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