Christmas 2012 - The Christmas of Bacon #parentingwin
Her friends still ask "What's your mom been up to? Does she have any stories?" I still have to tell y'all about doing laundry while Alia was in the hospital with a bum knee, but in the meantime here's a family classic: The Christmas of Bacon.
My daughter Alia tells people about me: "I literally tell people you're like shots of tequila. OK here and there but too much and you'll end up wandering the streets in an unknown city."
Not the actual necklace; I think she's lost it.
I was so proud of myself. And it was too easy. My daughter asked me to send her bacon for Christmas.
"I will," I said, because I am a Good Mum, "and you WILL be sorry." Because she's met me.
I found a single eBay seller who had bacon Christmas ornaments, candy canes, chap-stick, bandages, dental floss, pose-able figurines, and car air fresheners. And wrapping paper, and was willing to wrap the package for me before sending because I can't mail - this is a known thing. Also, if memory serves me, my mini-me Alayna ate the chapstick.
But I am even prouder of her birthday present from that year. Alia is one of those people who can never find customized items in their name (you're welcome, Alia. I should have named you Zoe Moonwater.) And possibly this was the year she had her own bedroom, so I wanted a sign that said Alia's Room. But I did better.
I found someone who made adorable necklaces out of recycled Scrabble Tiles - I freaking LOVE Scrabble - decorated like those name-tags. You know: HELLO I'M ______________________. With no comma after the word HELLO. But anyway...I was all set to order it when brilliance struck.
Me, to Seller: "Can you make this say HELLO I'M GONNA SHANK YOU?"
Seller, to Me: "I think it's too many characters. Can it be GONNA SHANK U?"
Me: "She's pretty hood. Go for it, and thank you!"
Again, You're Welcome, Alia. Love you like a bathtub full of waffles and real maple syrup <3 br="">3>