Band of Moes Theory, and a Definition of Empathy
Humans are social animals, and we want to connect . We learn our patterns through our parents first. Then, through a series of trial and error, we collect people we like who also like us. Or we learn to like that which we attract, and we let our collection define us. We learn to follow as a default. Empaths feel what others feel literally, physically, not just have an understanding. If I prick you, I will bleed. The word empathy is used (perhaps incorrectly) to describe recognising unmet needs in others. Do not assume that, in fulfilling what you perceive to be someone's need, the person will reciprocate by taking care of yours. Easy to define intellectually; not so easy to recognise in one's self. Sometimes what we recognise is a pattern that should be retired. If I don't meet the parameters in certain relationship models - business, friend, family - I may take lack of acceptance as rejection, which is a model I learned: don't be a let-do...