#uncoffeed...

My inner child is throwing a tantrum. She wants to adventure, dammit, and there isn't one imminent. I outsided for lunch, and the weather was nice enough - overcast, humid, mildly windy, Michigan springlike here in Virginia. I used to feel this restlessness in the spring as a kid. While I sat quietly in class, or in front of the TV, or up a tree somewhere, I was fighting an exasperating urge to fly away. I flew in dreams, seated but not with wings, hovering over my neighborhood streets. I want to skip class right now. I can't fly away at this time. My day job is busy; I have assignments to complete. My cat is huggy ever since I came home from Dogville, and she'll be devastated if I leave her again so soon. She still doesn't want me to pick her up, but if I'm prone she lies on my back and snuggles me with her head and one paw. I need to change something, and I am not sure whether I mean a temporary change or permanent. I feel so itchy on the inside. I reco...

The more ideas I have, and the more I work out the math in my own mind to find them feasible, the more I realize how much I've shut myself down in the years prior to 2018.  It's a little galling, but I know I didn't do all of it to myself. Also I realize how much I have always been exactly what I am. This is not a post about casting blame. We're going to talk about discovery. In 1975, I was ten years old. For the second time, my school had me evaluated (to see if something was wrong with me.) I met with a guidance counselor weekly and she gave me various tasks that didn't make sense, but I performed them well. She typed my parents a letter that begins: "The most apt phrase to describe our most delightful Debbie is that she 'bites off more than she can chew.' Although this really isn't the case." I love this line. But then she follows with "Deb could do the work if she'd like to but perhaps she gets more attention if she...