#uncoffeed...

I was recently asked to follow instructions with no explanation and I did it.  If  you know me in real life, you are probably amazed. I heeded because I trust the person who made the request (which wasn't really a request.) There were times in my life when I would have gone straight to do the thing I was explicitly asked to not do. I'm feeling pretty adulty, if confused. The Wielder of Instructions has a history with me that's earned my trust - a series of honorable decisions made, not deference to a title nor membership in any particular club. You need to let people know where you stand, and that can make you a potential target. Sort of a double-edged sword, isn't it?  Nobody wants to be cut. People sometimes use templates to define their ethics and values:  clubs and churches are the easy ones to identify.  We like the idea of knowing what to expect - it's easy, maybe even a ready-made personality. When we want to parse the template, we're accus...

When my teenage daughter Alia was living with Katie's aunt, she was asked to mind adorable 4-year-old Katie for an afternoon. "Katie doesn't like bread crust," Alia was warned. "You'll need to cut it off her sandwich or she won't eat."  Things that seem trivial to adults are terribly important when you're 4. (The 4-year-olds probably have the best perspective, but that's a different blog post .) "Okay," teenage Alia said, and then she didn't do it. I don't need to explain this. You will probably guess that K ate the sandwich with nary a peep. You would be correct. Alia explained to Auntie that the sandwich was eaten, crust and all. Auntie was amazed. K just smiled with her sweet little face. The next time Auntie made a sandwich with crust on it, K refused to eat. There's probably a legitimate psychological term for the way people never forget where your buttons are once they learn how to push them. This is w...

I don't feel like going outside, but I have this thing to do I really want to do.  You know what an introver...maybe you don't, exactly. You might think an introvert is a standoffish person who likes doing things alone, but that's only part of the story.  The part you need to know is this:  Let the introvert do her thing, but keep communication open - even if there isn't any sound.  The introvert doesn't want to be alone; she just can't control the energy draining from her. Interaction is an app that saps the battery. When I first moved to Annandale, VA, I realised I could easily fall into a pattern of going from home to work to home.  I researched to find people I could deal with doing things I actually like.  It is useless to force yourself to do things you dislike just to connect with humans - no, it really is. See above comment on sapped battery. So I found this book club , and we're reading one book for over a year now: Gödel, ...