Neverland vs. ALJ

Today my grandson didn't want to go to school.  He's 4 years old. I was also 4, maybe 5, when I first didn't want to go to school; when I wanted to stay home and keep my life the way it was. I didn't want to hatch out of the egg. My parents, like my daughter probably did with my grandson, cracked that sucker for me and dumped me out. Get dressed, to go work - this is what the rest of your life is going to look like. Start getting used to it now, kid.

Half a century later, I am still scarred by the bullying that started in kindergarten.  Back then the  idea that a child might not be emotionally ready to socialise was newly-formed.  The idea that parents needed affordable day-care, though, is old as time.  My mom was fully prepared by her public education to be a top-notch housewife and then she gave birth to imperfect children (we all do, no matter how perfect we want our children to be.) Maybe she should have kept me home another year, and sent me to school when I was 5 going on 6. The math tells me it wouldn't have mattered. There would have been bullies in that class, too, and I would likely have been as ill-prepared to deal with them as I was in my real childhood. I don't know whether my grandson is having bully problems, or if he just realizes that the world is bullshit and doesn't want to go in. 

I'm sorry, Boo-boo, that we can't make a better society for you.  We keep trying.  There's something about humanity that requires us to clash and see who comes out on top.  I am sorry that I've apparently passed on genes that will make you sensitive, and our society will try to squeeze that out of you.  Knowing never makes it easy. There's no time in this life for sensitivity, Boo-boo, but it exists despite anyone's intentions. Gird yourself.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. Summie, I am SO SORRY! I'm still learning to drive this thing, and I didn't mean to remove your very kind post. Grandma can't internet - this is a known thing. Please try again, so I can practice?

  2. I was bullied, and I bullied. My Dad bullied -- my mother, us children, and my childhood was a battlefield. My sister learned to be invisible but I was the product of "Loyalty Training." I was bullied in school, and I bullied my younger sister at home, in an imitation of my Dad. She was the victim, in imitation of my Mom who was 1 1/2 feet shorter and 150 pounds lighter than my Dad. All I ever wanted was friends, and I had NO idea how to make them. The best thing about my childhood? I grew up. My sister grew up crazy. I know how it happened. I just grew up. :-(
    I learned about loyalty. It needs to be dispensed carefully. Trust, and loyalty, need to be earned. Dog pack mentality is learned. Loyalty -- is earned.

  3. <3 Perfectly said, Mari. I am glad we are all survivors.


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