Getting Through vs. Crash Landing
I laughed, and then I responded to Mr. Geminii: "I get bored."
Mr. Geminii laughed, too. He sees me for what I am, appreciates me, and slowly backs away because he knows. What excellent trouble we could cause as a team! It is nice to be understood.
I am not bragging here: I struggle daily. Getting through day-to-day life is onerous. Would that neatly folding my linens and chatting over coffee were sufficient to make my day shiny. I really like both of those things, but my brain goes walking off, looking for more, touching with itchy fingers things that I've been told should not be touched.
Here's what my brain tells me, though, when I tell it to Leave Those Things Alone:
Why do they exist, then? Why have humans fought to pin and identify every moving part of our universe for centuries now? Why are all forms of life different from each other, if they aren't meant to be examined?
Our society is built on set parameters and counts on a solid base of Instruction-followers to function properly. Even so, there is opposition:
We seek patterns but praise innovation.
We like to be surprised but ask for consistency.
We are discouraged from going outside the framework.
We are praised for going outside the framework.
I can't stay in it, literally. I have to see the frame for myself, from all sides.
Those who crave structure can live relatively comfortable within it. Those who aspire to ________ have to have the structure in order to surpass the boundaries. We need each other. A band needs both a solid rhythm section and a soloist to bounce off the stable bass (ha. Don't get mad - drums also have bass.) They comprise the term "band" together. Society needs a stable base as well as innovators to get into history books under the term "civilization".
Stop looking so surprised, people. It has always been thus.
If you feel itchy and repressed in your current milieu, take a careful assessment. It could be that you're overshooting by not fully understanding and managing the support network needed to attain new levels. You can't skip steps - this is how all crash landings happen, but sometimes the crash is why you know further calculations are needed. Ask NASA.
It could be you're surrounded by people who aren't interested in how innovations came to be, and think they're helping you by keeping you safely within boundaries. They could be secretly bitchy because they let society stop them from believing in themselves. If folding sheets is not enough for you, maybe you're an innovator. It's not for you to waste time making sure comfortable people understand the true nature of the system. Everybody needs each other, but they don't have to believe it to make it so. They just need to believe in your inner pirate, and so do you.
Your job is not to judge those who want to hold you back. Your job is to know yourself and understand your capabilities. Your job is to make sure you have a strong enough foundation to take the giant leap, and then
It is the nature of all art that the artist surpasses convention. The artist will seek to name his work by identifying boundaries, which the new generation will then seek to surpass. Art is nothing without institutionalization. - me, ca. 1992
Mr. Geminii is not entirely correct if he's assigning me the label Loose Cannon. My daughter Alia gives away my secret: "My mom wouldn't do anything to anybody!" And I can fold fitted sheets precisely, if I think that's what's needed.